Top 8 Reasons Why You Might Not Want To Date A Nigerian Journalist

Journalism is an exciting profession that takes you to every part of the world chasing stories. There’s never a dull moment in journalism. It is one profession that keeps you alert and on your toes every moment of the day. However, when it comes to dating and relationship, there are peculiarities that might either make you enjoy going out with a journalist or regret doing so. You might say that every profession has its peculiarities and ups and downs. But if you ask a journalist you will find out that it is actually more demanding than you can imagine. So if you decide to date a journalist in Nigeria or any part of the world you need to understand some facts that might confront you in the relationship before you start one. There are news room intrigues to contend with. Then there is the gender problem that relegates females to the background. But this article looks at both male and female journalists. Would you really feel comfortable dating a journalist after reading this piece posted on Huffingtonpost? You could still give it a try.

Note that there are several reasons why journalists make the best partner one can ever have; but there are also reasons why they can be your absolute nightmare. Here are top 8 reasons why you might not want to date a Nigerian journalist or any other journalist across the world.

 

They will make money off your life: Not the gold digger way, absolutely not. This does not mean they will collect money from you. It simply says they might be using aspects of your life in their stories. They enjoy doing that. When there is no source to interview or personality to focus on you might turn into an emergency source to be written on. They might not mention your name but when you read inbetween the lines of an article you will know you are the one involved.

Journalists actually earn peanuts for 70-hour working weeks, but they’ll never date you for the money. If you do end up with someone who doesn’t write about finance or sports all day, aspects of your life will appear in a newspaper, magazine or website. Your height, profession or skin color might be altered, otherwise it’s you. And on most occasions, you won’t be asked for permission, because they will counteract your argument by calling their article a piece of ‘fictional’ writing that’s ‘inspired by real events’.

Deadlines > Sex: One pays and the other doesn’t. You might find journalists mortgaging sex life for deadlines; At least, not when you want to have it. There’s a deadline to beat (and unfortunately, a sex life that might have to be adjusted). Pulling an all-nighter for a hot date with MS Word and an avalanche of scribbled paperwork is much more lucrative than a sweaty session on your black satin sheets. Because someone needs to pay for those sheets, and that free bottle of Moët from a press event, sitting on the kitchen cabinet will definitely not do that.

They are ridiculously observant: They know when you’re lying, when you’re speaking from your heart and when you’re goddam bored. They’re trained to sense the tone of an interviewee through the phone — they’re like guard dogs at an airport — so never think you’ve said or done something that’s gone under the table. Chances are, it’ll come back to haunt you about four months and 18 days later, with a proper reference to the original scenario. Plus, some journalists even come with photographic memory — that’s a whole new level of freak show. You might not like such a partner.

They will remember your words: Whether you say it in writing or over the phone, journalists don’t forget words. They will remember whatever you say — in lust or disgust — and remind you of it. They are programmed to remember events and interviews, so to do follow-up stories, and they are fast-learners (hence amazing at their job), so be careful with what comes out of your mouth around these fellas. And while you’re at it, know that they can manipulate the thesaurus a little too well; they will say words that mean one thing on face value and a crazy level of WTF when really read into.

They will correct your grammar and spellings, all the time: A snobby trait that is really difficult to let go of — journalists are trained writers and English language is part of their DNA. Ensure your punctuations and spellings are under a vigil eye when you text or email them, because they will pick it within seconds, and won’t be afraid to correct you. On the flip side, they will be the first ones to notice if your vocabulary is better than theirs, and just quietly, that’s a big turn-on.

They are social media addicts: Just like your spreadsheet dramas at midnight, being constantly on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest is part of their job. This includes following blogs and other online news platforms. This job is rather tedious and stressful. If you don’t understand terms like SEO, boost post, organic reach and retweets — it’s best you stay shut, or walk away.

They will be picky with the bar or restaurant you choose: Journalists are a little bit smug when it comes to where you take them out, especially if you end up with a lifestyle or travel journalist. If you take them for a kebab at that corner shop or Starbucks for a coffee date (eeeek!), forget about date #2. You don’t have to go all Michelin star on them, but show that you made an effort in researching the venue; a quick search on Time Out is all they ask.

They need their me-time: Due to all the small-talk with colleagues and clients at work events, journalists are suckers for moments of isolation. You might have to give them that much-needed time to clear their headspace and filter the army of thoughts doing the dance of agony. When they come back to the “real” world, they want to be left alone, preferably by the beach or a lake, sans any technological device. This is their time to recharge and come back with more story ideas and intellectually stimulating conversations. No amount of cuddles or spooning can replace this.

 

If you can handle all these traits, you can find yourself a journalist to date. Just note that dating them is also as interesting as their profession.

(With Facts from Huffington Post)

The Author

Chinenye Nwabueze

Nwabueze is a communication researcher with several years of lecturing experience in Nigerian universities.

2 Comments

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  1. Hmm, even no 2 join tooo

  2. Ezeweputaku Mary Jane

    the journalist deserve the Credit form we the audience because they risk there life for all.

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