You may or may not have heard the word misogynist. You may even be manifesting the traits without knowing that. Misogynist comes from the word misogyny which means an inexplicable hatred for, dislike of, or ingrained prejudice against women and girls. A misogynist is someone who expresses or manifests misogyny, that is, someone who hates women.
You might be with a person without knowing he is a misogynist. They are very difficult to identify.
Misogyny is manifested in various ways among which are social exclusion of women, sex discrimination, hostility against the feminine gender, androcentrism (a practice of always projecting a masculine point of view at the center of one’s world view, value systems and way of life generally, and by so doing, practically marginalizing of relegating the feminine gender; the opposite of this – placing the feminine as superior – is gynocentrism; you are either androcentric or genocentric), violence against women, sexual objectification, and belittling or marginalizing women frequently.
Sometimes, misogynists may even project themselves as pro-woman. In most cases, they are not even aware that they hate women. Misogyny is primarily an unconscious or inexplicable hatred that men form early in life, possibly due to traumatic experience involving a female figure they trusted. It could be as a result of experience from an abusive or negligent mother, sister, teacher or girlfriend which left a traumatic psychological scar on the person. It then grows gradually from that early stage until it begins to manifest fully in the person’s attitude towards women and girls.
The misogynist manifests this hatred for or prejudice against the feminine gender most times without knowing what he is doing. You may also find it difficult to spot a misogynist around you. Berit Brogaard presents these 12 ways you can spot a misogynist. Once you notice these traits on a person, note that he is a misogynist.
12 Ways to Spot a Misogynist
- He will zero in on a woman and choose her as his target. Her natural defenses may be down because he’s flirtatious, exciting, fun, and charismatic at first.
- As time goes on, he begins to reveal a Jekyll & Hyde personality. He may change quickly from irresistible to rude, and from rude back to irresistible.
- He will make promises to women and often fail to keep them. With men, on the other hand, he will almost always keep his word.
- He will be late for appointments and dates with women, but be quite punctual with men.
- His behavior toward women in general is grandiose, cocky, controlling, and self-centered.
- He is extremely competitive, especially with women. If a woman does better than him socially or professionally, he feels terrible. If a man does better, he may have mixed feelings about it but he is able to look at the situation objectively.
- He will unknowingly treat women differently from men in workplace and social settings, allowing men various liberties for which he will criticize female colleagues or friends.
- He will be prepared (unconsciously) to use anything within his power to make women feel miserable. He may demand sex or withhold sex in his relationships, make jokes about women or put them down in public, “borrow” their ideas in professional contexts without giving them credit, or borrow money from them without paying them back.
- On a date, he will treat a woman the opposite of how she prefers. If she is an old-style lady who prefers a “gentleman” who holds the door for her, orders for both and pays for the meal, he will treat her like one of his male buddies, order for himself, and let her pay for the whole meal if she offers (and sometimes even if she doesn’t). If she is a more independent type who prefers to order her own meal and pay for herself, he will rudely order for both and pay the check while she goes to the bathroom.
- Sexually, he likes to control women and gives little or no attention to their sexual pleasure. Foreplay, if it occurs at all, is only a necessary means to an end. He likes oral sex but only as a recipient. His favorite positions enable him to avoid looking the woman in her eyes.
- Cheating; the person will cheat on women he is dating or in a relationship with. Monogamy is the last thing he feels he owes a woman. He doesn’t believe in settling down with one woman
- He may suddenly disappear from a relationship without ending it, but may come back three months later with an explanation designed to lure the woman back in.
If you have any contrary view to the ones presented by Berit Brogaard, do let us have it. This is an interesting discourse that could be enriched with divergent views.