Thursday , May 19 2022

How Cohabitation Can Kill Your Relationship

The growing trend of cohabitation is receiving attention from relationship experts who believe it does more harm than good to those involved. Some people argue that cohabiting is a relevant aspect of courtship while others see it as a waste of time on a relationship that was dead from day one. In this article posted on, Roseline Obadiuno explains how cohabitation could spell doom for a relationship.

Over the years, most people associate cohabitation to celebrities in the entertainment industry. Surprisingly, in recent years it has become a norm in the society. To a reasonable extent, a good number of individuals indulge in this act and they give diverse reasons for their actions. Some are of the view that it helps them know the other party better so if their expectations are not met, they can walk away while others may believe it could strengthen the relationship of both parties when they eventually think of getting married.  In other words, people believe cohabitation is a good way to prepare for marriage.

It’s quite ridiculous how we expect a man who is already enjoying the benefits that comes with marriage when cohabiting to come and pay the dowry of a woman. Hmmm….. Despite whatever reasons, the question here is, is cohabitation the right thing to do? This article explores the following ways cohabiting is causing damage to relationships:

You both tend to neglect the quality time you both ought to spend together. The idea becomes you see each other every time by the virtue of living together. There is less time for hangouts which is peculiar if you were not living together.

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Quarrels, arguments and nagging is inevitable when partners cohabit, every slightest issue must result into a quarrel. Once this happens repeatedly, there is always a high possibility that both partners would get fed up of each other and this begins to make their relationship go down the drain and eventually end in a breakup.

It encourages fornication. Imagine partners who agreed to abstain from sex in their relationship and they begin to cohabit, the temptation becomes intense that they begin to fornicate which most likely leads to unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. In addition, due to the frequency of sexual experience between cohabiting partners, if they eventually get married, there is a tendency that their sex life will be less of what it should be.

It becomes worse if you have been involved in more than one cohabiting relationships because when they eventually get married, they don’t understand what it takes to maintain a quality and healthy marriage because they never had one in their relationships before marriage. Hence, there is always a high risk of divorce.

What most people don’t realize is that if you have child/children in a cohabiting relationship, it will have negative influences on the kid/kids; it could affect their behavioral pattern and their academic performances in school. The risks are that your child will not experience a stable family, especially if you break up with that person; it also affects your ability to forge a marriage down the road.  There is always a high risk of being assaulted.

Relationships come with its ups and downs, it involves a lot of work and commitments so do not complicate matters by cohabiting. Thus, it is better and safer to say ‘I Do’ before living together.

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About Chinenye Nwabueze

Nwabueze is a communication researcher with several years of lecturing experience in Nigerian universities.

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