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My Mother Checked If My Virginity Was Intact Till I Married – Gospel Singer, Tope Alabi Shares Story

Popular Nigerian gospel singer, Tope Alabi has revealed how she kept her virginity until marriage.

Tope Alabi
While speaking in an exclusive interview with PUNCH Newspaper, popular singer, Tope Alabi, opened up about her childhood, career, marriage, motherhood and other issues.
Here are excerpts from chat:
 
You often share moral lessons in your songs. How did your upbringing influence that part of you?
Whenever God tells me to record an album, He always tells me how to go about it. A lot of times, He often uses lessons from my childhood to explain what I should do. I was the only girl in the house and I was raised strictly. My mother was a disciplinarian and she brooked no nonsense. There was no room for me to go astray.
 
Did your mother support your music career?
Yes, she did because she was also a singer. She always sang around the house. She believed that one didn’t have to be immoral simply because she is a singer. Every other member of my family was not pleased with my music career but my mother never took offence. She taught me that a female shouldn’t be too close to men. For example, I was never bathed at the same time with my male siblings.
My mother used to check if my virginity was intact every three months interval before I got married; especially whenever I returned from movie locations. When I newly got married to my husband, we went to the National Theatre in Lagos to watch a movie and actors like Yinka Quadri, Ebun Oloyede, among others were there. When they saw my husband, they congratulated him and told him that he had chosen a good and exemplary wife. That made my husband quite happy. My mum was very strict and she never spared the rod. She also showed me a lot of motherly love.
What other childhood ambitions did you have?
I wanted to become a fashion designer. I studied Mass Communication; I also thought that I would end up as a broadcaster or a correspondent. However, I have always loved acting and I joined a theatre group when I was in secondary school. My dream then was to become a star actress.
 
How did you start recording soundtracks for movies?
I started my entertainment career as an actress and back then, they didn’t do personalised soundtracks for movies. One day, one of my colleagues, Adio Majesta, said I should be able to compose songs for movies. He told me the title of the movie and that was how I started making soundtracks for movies. He believed I could do it because I always sang whenever we were on location and sometimes, I used the incident happening at that particular time to compose songs.
How would you describe your experience as an actress?
I joined the group, Jesters International, in 1983, and I started acting with Papilolo and Aderupoko. There were times that I would be on location for several weeks, yet I wouldn’t be given any role. I used to feel frustrated but I didn’t know that God had another plan for me. Now, I have more fulfillment as a singer. I have the opportunity to minister to people and break yokes. I don’t take all that I am for granted.
When was your breakthrough moment in your career?
I became very popular when I released the album, Ore ti o Common. I didn’t think that people would like the song because it was the ‘cover’ of a makossa hit. The original song didn’t have any moral message but I decided to change it to a gospel song. People really loved and accepted the song. Meanwhile, I had released two albums, Ikoko Dudu and Baba iwo la k’epe, before then but they weren’t successful.
Are any of your children following your footsteps in music?
Yes. My first daughter, Ayomikun, is currently studying music in the university. She often tells me a lot of things about the rudiments and intricacies of music. I actually wanted her to study medicine but she chose music. She writes good lyrics and I respect her for that.
You recently built a house in Iju, Lagos. Why didn’t you go to a highbrow area like Lekki?
I believe that God is everywhere. I have always lived in this area and I am comfortable with it. This place where I live is very peaceful and I am sure that if the people in Lekki get to know about it, they would want to move here.
Some people regard gospel singing as a calling. How do you draw the line when charging clients?
Some people had been doing this job before we started. Most churches know that they have to give honourarium. Till date, there are some places we go to minister and do not charge a dime; they would give us whatever they like. However, in some places, they could take us for granted if we don’t tell them what they are required to pay.
For about 15 years in my ministry, I didn’t charge anybody. I recently started to do that because I realised that people were taking us for a ride. There was a particular church we went to minister and at the end of the programme, they gave us N300, and the place wasn’t even in Lagos. How am I supposed to share that with my band? There have been lots of experiences like that. This is the only job that I do and I have several responsibilities to cater to.
How would you describe the experience of working with your husband?
I enjoy it. Gentle people (like my husband) are conservative and reserved. I like the way he is because we have opposite characters. I spend and shop a lot but he is someone who believes in saving money. At every point, he knows what he is doing. Gentle people may be stubborn but it usually helps us to achieve certain things. My husband motivates me a lot. Even the people that work with him in the office love him very much. He might be stubborn, but he is not a troublesome person. He is a very lenient person but whenever he is tired of you, nobody can convince him otherwise.
How do you make sure that misunderstandings with your husband at work don’t go home with you?
We often take some of them home. At times, we have misunderstandings on stage. He usually frowns at me whenever I don’t get something right on stage, and sometimes, he communicates with me using the piano. He also doesn’t like it when I talk too much on stage. He often tells me to greet people briefly and go straight to my song delivery. In cases like that, I always apologise first because I like saying sorry.

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The Author

Chinenye Nwabueze

He is a Senior Lecturer in the Department of Mass Communication, Chukwuemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu University, COOU, (formerly Anambra State University), Igbariam Campus.

50 Comments

Add a Comment
  1. Nwabugwu Sandra ijeoma

    Nawa o
    2015054104

  2. Eze Priscillia Obianuju

    2015054105
    I love listening to her songs

  3. Good for you sis

  4. if every mum can behave like this then our world would be a better place and the rate of abortion and pregenacy would reduce…mothers now compete with our teenage girls forgetting their responsibilities as mothers in our society today…..099

  5. CHUKWUKADIBIA ADAOBI

    A lesson to all the ladies…..All thanks to her mum. ..Ezigbo Nne Amaka. …Name:Chukwukadibia Adaobi. Reg no : 2015054029

  6. Hmmm……interesting…
    2015054119

  7. I’ve always been a huge fan of Tope Alabi…. Sexual purity should really be a topic of discussion for youths these days because the rate at which immortality is displayed on TV sets all in the name of musical videos is really disheartening. God help us all.
    Nwosu Leona Uchechi
    2015054111
    Team Mobutu Seseko

  8. Obika Happiness c

    hmm. this is serious

  9. mothers are always d best, though dia corrections can be very annoying

  10. Uzor Cecilia Ifunanya

    Tight upbringing but lovely

  11. You are indeed a good example ..Congrats
    2015054040

  12. Hmmm oooh!! Women and their problems

    2015054023

  13. Ogbonna divine c 2015054147

    Very typical of African moms , specially Nigerian mothers

  14. Onuchukwu Chika Jennifer

    Awesome ma. Keep inspiring many with your works
    2015054044

  15. How many mothers have that kind of time these day?

  16. Chukwuanu Ekpereamaka Peace

    Very good

  17. Nice one……….. One of the things mothers do but how many mothers do that this days

  18. Obiechina Ifunanya Vivian

    2016054028/DE

    That is very good. But she forgot to point out that most teens are lured into loosing their virginity due to their parent’s negligence or atimes it could be rape incident.

  19. wow, your mum try shaaooo
    2015054050

  20. Igbeli Assumpta Kosiso

    I thought she was surposed to trust her little Christian daughter?

  21. Mother’s love

  22. Wow…that’s good to know..But its had to find girls like you new
    2015054080

  23. Sandra emenike chinelo

    2015054049
    why do I find this hard to believe?????

  24. This is what African women are known for

  25. Nice.
    Name : Ekulide Tochukwu Favour
    Reg no 2015054034

  26. This is what most mothers fail to do.

  27. Its a lesson for the youngs, emulate the good habit

  28. Anwuka chetachi assumpta

    That’s really awesome but the question now z how many of our mothers does this in dz present generation
    Anwuka chetachi assumpta
    2016054027DE

  29. Really.. your mum try oo, how many mum will do that this modern age…

  30. Umeugo Vivian ifunanya

    This is nice.. mother’s love but the question now is how many of our present generation mother can do this
    Umeugo Vivian ifunanya
    2015054124

  31. obidigbo ifeoma Christabel

    Don’t take it personal, she was just doing her motherly job.

  32. nwangene onyema c

    it is so nice she got married as a virgin bt her mom checking her was not really cool.
    you should be able to trust your daughter aleast you have given her a good up bringing

  33. Muotolum Victoria

    mother’s are the best

  34. Interesting. Good for u

  35. Chukwurah Uzoamaka

    Alright but I’m still finding it hard to believe. More grace dear

  36. Evidence of a good parenting
    2015054122

  37. Okoye Mmesoma Paschaline

    Nice one……what a motherly love
    Okoye Mmesoma Paschaline
    2015054073

  38. Mothers and their ways eeh

  39. 2015054129
    Mothers and their ways eeh

  40. Your mom really tried for you.
    Nkameme Obinna Donald
    2015054114

  41. that’s mother’s for u

  42. Nice one

  43. Alagbogu Chinazom

    Wow! It encouraging to others dear.

  44. Emenanjo onyinyechi. m

    Nawa ooo this serous
    2015054109

  45. Is good any way…..
    2015054121

  46. Irechukwu Ifeoma

    What a caring mother

  47. 2015054003
    That’s Very good of you

  48. nwosu valentine chidera 2015054003

    Is good but I think this is much even when she is matured

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